“I resolve to speak ill of no man… and proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Judge not, that ye be not judged.” – Matthew 7:1
Letting Go of Judgment – Finding Good (God) in Others
Everyday we make thousands of judgments about people, places, situations and events. These judgments happen so quickly and are such a part of our lives that we are not even aware that we are passing judgment. How we were raised and what we were taught play a significant role in how we judge what is happening around us. Judgment can protect us and keep us from making mistakes but judgment can also prevent us from seeing clearly. So how do we know the difference? Look to the source of the judgment. Is it coming from your intuition telling you that something doesn’t quite feel right? If so, this is discernment and is a valuable tool. Or is it coming from your ego telling you that you are superior to another or that you know better than they do?
When we judge another person’s actions or behavior we are saying that we know what is best for them, that we have the best rule book or the best solution. We expect others to see things exactly the way we do. But how can they? Were they raised under the same circumstances as us? Dr. Loren Ekroth states: “No two people experience the same reality, so how can we know what is exactly right for another soul?” We can’t. But there is something we can do. We can strive to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes and reach across the difference of opinion to find the common ground on which we all stand. We can bring out the best in others by looking for what’s good about them – not what’s wrong. What you focus on expands, so why not put your attention on the best in people? If we seek to understand and look below the surface of the behavior, we may find that the other person is in need of kindness from us. Then we can show our true nature by extending such kindness.
There is a principle called the Pygmalion Effect. This principle states that if we expect the best from another and communicate such to them, they will respond by adjusting their behavior to match. Test this principle over the rest of the month. See what you can do to find and bring out the best out in others!
Copyright February 2005 by Vicki Miller