Number 9 is difficult to escape because we all engage in this activity. In fact, we are taught to use this skill even if it works against us. We all judge and assess others to protect self or to find pleasure. The problem is you can only judge to the extinct your environment allows you to judge. In other other words, you can only see what your environment taught you to see.
If your environment was dangerous, you may be fearful of most things, even if you disguise that fear as toughness. If your environment taught you that everything is difficult, you will look for difficulties in everything, including relationships. When you find yourself in a relationship that is not difficult, you may become suspicious and start looking for problems. That in itself can cause problems. Instead of enjoying yourself, you are being paranoid. When the paranoid behavior causes problems, you will feel relieved that you found one. While that mindset sounds insane, it’s happens every day.
Imagine attempting to judge something you have never seen or heard of. You can only assess it by comparing it to something similar. This is what happens every time you meet someone new. And this is why people misjudge one another so often.
There was an interesting study. A group of female psychologists and sociologists wanted to prove men are more shallow than women.
What I am really saying is your judgment is based on what you already know. There is so much you don’t know that being judgmental is a waste of time. It’s much better to discover than to judge. Discovery allows you to explore things you have not encountered in your environment.
For the record, your family is one environment. Your neighborhood is another. Your school, media and books are another. Your country is an environment and so is planet earth. Be honest about the limits of all environments. That could help you to be less judgmental.